Allstars Around The World #3    

Allstar Rights Terrible Injustice

"Jules Rimet still gleeming" - Allstar and ITV executive, Mr Peter Reilly, gets his hands on the ultimate football trophy in 2009.

Some people are on the pitch


If you travel north of the border of our fair isle you will encounter a race that harbours an all-consuming grievance. The ill-feeling can by expressed by a date, but it is not 1298, 1513 or even 1746. The Scots may have been roundly trounced by their English nemesis at Falkirk (William Wallace getting stuffed by Edward I in a manner that Mel Gibson wouldn't recognise), Flodden (James IV going headless) or Culloden (Bonnie Prince Charlie mincing off to eat snails whilst his soldiers, including wounded, are butchered) that sticks in the throat. It is 1966.

England, history records, lifted the Jules Rimet Trophy after taking their tally to two World Wars and one World Cup against the Hun. History, the Scots argue, got it wrong. Not only did England only win because they had cheated, but Scotland showed their inherent superiority a year later beating England 3-2 at Wembley.

This famous victory allowed the Scots to proclaim themselves "Unofficial World Champions". Few Scots, of course, remember that the match was a European Championship qualifier and that England won the group and qualified whilst the Scots returned home to gorge themselves on deep-fried Mars Bars. As the BBC reports: "Scotland's victory against England at Wembley, the first game England had lost since becoming World Champions, fits within Scotland's canon of glorious failures, such as the win over Holland in 1978 and 2003, rather than the famous victory it is generally considered to be."

AllStar Peter Reilly, a native of Barrhead (pronounced Bore-heed), has been waging a campaign to set the record straight. After designing a t-shirt (Scotland: Unofficial World Champions 1967) that became M&S's best-seller in his homeland, the big jock has gone a step further. Here we see him taking the World Cup from England's goal scoring hero Geoff Hurst. Martin Peters refused to have his photo taken with a Sweaty after Big Pete told him he was "rubbish".

Not only is it the closest an Allstar will ever get to a trophy, it's the closest a Scotsman will too.

Words: Shaggy, February 2010.

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